Divorce isn’t a gentle walk along the beach not by a long shot it’s more like being lost in a big labyrinth with no way out in sight. Have you ever been in a corn maze and just softly panicked Legal jargon to unravel with completely unpredictable emotions. Seriously! One moment you discuss what happens to your coffee maker and the next you’re reliving your wedding day with your cat—the one who listens to all of your silly stories. It’s enough to make your head spin!

Remember when Aunt Sally introduced you to random new friends at the family reunion and all you could muster up was, “Nice to meet you…cool shoes”? Kinda like that. As you might expect, friends offer both a shoulder to cry on and a glass of Chardonnay at the same time. As for how you feel Welcome to the Pinball Zone from out of control rage to relief to the giggles that hit you out of nowhere, exactly like the first time you ugly laughed over your own embarrassing typos in a business email.

Yet in this turmoil, there is room for growth. Not in the boring self-help way. There’s a strange sense of freedom that comes from returning to forgotten hobbies or realizing you can, in fact, cook a meal without the aid of a microwave. By the way, all those hours of watching Gordon Ramsey paid off in the end. Who knew?

And if you have kids, it’s a whole new experience. Kids are like tiny detectives with bloodhound-like sniffers asking question after question after question. Sometimes you have to be Sherlock Holmes and walk them through why adults sometimes go their separate ways. This sorta feels like you’re living a suspenseful soap opera. But when the tiny humans nod at you like they understand it all, it’s a little scary and amazing.

But after all of these changes there is an opportunity to discover oneself a strange combination of reality checks and embracing change. As bad as it may sound, divorce isn’t the end of your novel it’s more like the beginning of a new book. You might feel like you’re trying to learn to ride a bike and juggle at the same time. During a hurricane.

So while you step into new situations maintain your sense of humor, keep faith in your own patience level, and just watch the ironic lessons unroll in front of you Cheers to the mazes Because no good story begins with, “Everything went off according to plan.”